Stress

Stress. Pressure. Anxiety. All of these are things we deal with, at least on some level, every day. Some times it comes from our jobs. When you are right at the deadline for a project and it isn't complete yet. Or maybe it's at home with family or relationships. It's amazing how sometimes some of the people you live with and have known all your life can still cause you stress.

While these are probably the most common forms of stress, they are by no means the limit. There are a million of things that cause us stress. It comes in all shapes and forms. Stress is just as varied as the people who suffer from it.

But that's not what I want to focus on. While I'm sure I could write for ages about the different forms of stress, and how it relates to me and other people, I am more interested in the aspect of it that really matters the most.

How do we deal with it?

Take me for example. I tend to let MOST things roll of my back. I try to let very few things really "get" to me. I think it's a trait I inherited from my Father. He is extremely laid back (the only person I know who can take a nap before bed time... no joke) and I have rarely ever seen him really upset. I've often wondered if how you handle stress is a genetic trait or just learned from watching your parents or those around you. My mother handles stress by getting a little sarcastic. I don't think she realizes that she does it some times. But I've noticed it. I do it too, but only under certain types of stress. I digress. I handle stress a little different from both of them. I don't let most things upset me. I try to take a step back and look at it from the point of "Is this something I have control of? Is there anything about this situation that I can actively take part of to change it for the better?" This will often time either give me a clear view of my options for courses of action or just eliminate the problem entirely. It's amazing how many times we stress over things that are completely outside of our control. So instead of thinking of ways to handle it, we waste our energy worrying about something that we have no control over.

It's a silly thing when you think about it really. What good does worrying do? Why would you allow negative feelings govern how you feel? It seems stupid when you word it that way, but that's what's happening!

Some people say "I just can't help it! I have to worry! It's who I am!!" I say bull spit. I refuse to believe we are a slave to a certain way of thinking. God would never make a human who could not help but have negative feeling every time there was a storm on the horizon. It is a choice we make, either conscious or subconscious. And either way, it still falls to us to make it. I refuse to take the victim stance, and will not tolerate people in my life who do.

Those are strong words. But I do mean them. And I hope the people in my life will never let me take the victim mentality. I have met too many people who have, and I can't handle it. The whole "Oh woe is me! Life is so hard and it's not fair and blah blah blah.." and they act like no one else in the world understands what they are going through. And maybe no one else does. SO WHAT? If that's the case then why are you trying to hard to make everyone else understand if they can't? Just accept it and get over it!

Ok, I'm done ranting, back on topic now.

I've seen a lot of people under stress lately. Some people let it out by "venting", some people just ignore it, others get angry. In fact, as I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen two people handle stress the same exact way. Maybe it's a personal thing. Maybe it's more personal than I realized. Still, everyone I've seen handles it differently. Some I understand because of their personality. I guess the way I handle it makes sense because of my personality. But some times it makes absolutely no sense.

I've seen the weirdest situations where the most meek and quiet person explodes and becomes a force to be dealt with. And other times, people who are always very energetic and forceful become very meek and quiet. It can be very strange to see a meek and quiet person go all out on some unsuspecting victim.

I'm not sure where all of this is going, or what I originally intended to prove or show in this. I think I just kind of wanted to write out what I've seen recently. How do you handle stress and pressure? Does it make sense?

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What's been happening?

I know it's been a while since my last update. It just seems my life keeps getting busier and busier. I have a play coming up soon and so rehearsals for it are taking up most of my evenings. When I'm not practicing for the play I'm doing other various things with/for friends.

The weekend is here and it couldn't have come at a better time! I'm about to drop from exhaustion. Unfortunately, looking at what's planned for this weekend, it's looking like it's going to be another busy one.

Tonight I will be helping Ripple put on the play "That You May Believe" over at a church. I'm not sure what all I will be doing, but I'll be none the less to help out where I can.

Tomorrow is looking to be pretty relaxing. I don't have anything planned Church wise. No plays, no teaching. Perhaps I can just go to Church and relax and enjoy it for once. The afternoon is looking pretty clear too, I'm thinking that I will be spending most of it in bed asleep. But I did just borrow that camera from Blaine so I might take it for a walk and go practice shooting with it. I'm not sure. Tomorrow night is also looking clear so I think I might just spend the evening with myself watching some movies or shows. Of course all of this is subject to change pending a call from my friends. But so far Saturday is looking like a pretty good day.

Sunday is the wedding. I have mixed feelings about the wedding. On the one hand I'm extremely excited and happy for my good buddy Micheal. On the other, I've never been an actual part of a wedding. Granted I'm only going to be ushering people in, but still. Of course the dancing will be fun. I am looking forward to that. I'm hoping that I don't make TOO big of a fool of myself on the dance floor, but after the quick refresher I had Wednesday, I think I'm pretty good to go. I'm still a little nervous.

And that's my weekend in a nut shell. Next week Halo 3 comes out, I also have my yearly review in which I hope I will be getting a raise, and it is tech week for our play. Needless to say, next week is going to kill me. Hopefully I can use this weekend to help prepare for it.

I'm going to try and post a vlog here soon too. Maybe even tonight if I don't get in too late. Later!

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Weekly Update (9-10)

Hey everyone! I haven't written since I went home to visit my family! I have a ton of pictures and video from that trip! I'm going to post links to them later on tonight once I get them all situated.

I'm also going to be working on a music video of my trip. I hope to start piecing it together over the next few days. I'm going to try and throw together a vlog too! I'll try to post later on today if I can! Take care!

Edit:

Ok the pictures are up! You can check them out here!!

Let me know in the comments what you think of them!

What changes a life?

What causes change in your life (When I say "change", I mean change in behavior, values, morals, etc. )? Is it some life changing event? Having a near death experience? Getting married? Having a child?

All of the aforementioned things are considerable "life changing" events, and I would say that for most of them, a change on some level, would be required. Few would disagree with me that change in those circumstances is to be expected.

But what about change that isn't prompted by any significant event? What about the realization that something in your life needs to change? That's hardly a life altering realization. But then, I guess it can be.

What has prompted this line of questioning comes from the fact that I have been on this path of self improvement and I don't know of any specific event that prompted it. I haven't had a near death experience, I haven't had a child, or anything else that I would classify as "major". So why am I doing it? Am I just that critical of myself? Maybe, but I don't think it's to the extent that it would cause this kind of passion in me.

I think it's something more. I think a lot of it has to do with God. I have always asked Him to make me a tool to use for His purpose. And I've seen His hand in a lot of things I've been involved with. But I think it goes beyond that. I think it boiled down to a choice.

If you read my very first blog post, you'll get the background story of where this path started for me. But I don't think I very clearly explained why. Sure I wanted to improve myself, but I think it goes beyond that.

Looking back on my life since I was about eighteen or nineteen, I felt like something in my life wasn't quite right. I didn't feel about about myself. I didn't handle things very well emotionally. But I had never considered the possibility that maybe I could do something about it. I had adopted the defeatist mentality, that I was a victim of my emotions and there was nothing I could do about it. If I was hurt by someone, it was there fault for hurting me, and I couldn't change how they made me feel. I would get upset if someone did something I didn't like and then blame THEM for making me feel bad. It sounds really stupid to read it, but as I think about it, I did it ALL the time. Now I adopt a much different view. I am in control of my emotions. No one, and I mean NO ONE, makes me feel anything emotionally. That is a choice I make.

When you say, "Bob said something that was mean and hurtful! He made me mad!" You are really saying, Bob said some mean things, and you chose to get mad about them. Bob didn't force you to get mad. He may have wanted you to, but then maybe he didn't. What if he was trying to make you laugh? But you didn't laugh, you got mad instead. So if we are running with the idea that Bob somehow has control over how you feel, then, by that same logic, you should be laughing and not mad.

Too many times I've seen people take the victim mentality that they are victims of their environments and have no control over how it effects them. This is the biggest form of cowardice and immaturity I can possibly think of. Do we have control over what happens to us all the time? No, more often than not, we don't. But how you respond emotionally to it is completely up to you. Take some responsibility for your emotions. Quit being a victim and start controlling how you respond to the various ways life effects you.

I have much more to say on this topic... consider this the first of many posts on the subject. Take care!

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I'm still here!

Hey! I haven't given up on this site or my postings! Far from it! It has just been a roller coaster ride for the past few weeks! I don't have much time to write right now, but I'll hit you up with a few quick updates and then I got to get back at it here at work.

Friday was a crazy day in that I got a call at 6:30 saying that one of my friends girlfriends had just went into labor. I immediately headed over to the hospital and helped them out by making calls and connecting people. Five hours later, a 6lb 14oz baby boy was born! I am so happy for them both!

Saturday was spent in much recuperation from Friday. I slept most of it way, the rest was spent either playing World of Warcraft or cleaning.

Sunday was much the same. I had tried to get to bed early Sunday night, but I could seem to fall asleep. I'm afraid my medication isn't working as well as it claims any more. I should probably go off of it again for a few weeks to get it completely out of my system and then start taking it again and see if it helps.

Anyways, alot more going on than that, but just thought I would post about it! I'll try to throw up a vlog here some time tonight or tomorrow! Take care!

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Weekly Update!

New Beginnings

Starting Over

It's almost become cliche now. The whole "I'm starting over..." or "I'm beginning again..." has almost been burned out at this point. And it's not the fact that it's mentioned by so many different people that makes it cliche. It's the fact that so many people say it so many times that, to everyone else, it turns into "Oh, your starting over? Again? Wow... what is this, like the third time this week?"

But we say it and, in some cases, try to actually do it. Start over. Begin again.

I've named my blog "The Progress of Change" for a reason. Because I feel that change should be a constant in my life (paradox anyone?). I truly believe that I should never be satisfied with "good enough" (as it relates to myself). So having said that, one would think that I would be a strong supporter of the ideas of "Starting over" and "Beginning again". And I am... kind of...

The Major Obstacle

As I have made my journey through self discovery and growth, I have found that the major obstacle that kept me from reaching my goal quicker was not myself and my inability to change... but everyone else around me. More specifically... the people closest to me.

I know it sounds odd right? You would think that the people closest to you would want you to change and become a better person. And some of them do! In my case, most of them did. The problem is in the habits that have been formed between you and them.

Have I lost you yet?

I have found, that in interacting with people, you form habits of communication and action. If you change yourself (and by "change", I mean how you interact with yourself and others), then you also have to change how you communicate with others. Close friends, if they are indeed "close", will notice this (and if they don't, you either A) Didn't do much "real" changing, or B) they aren't really that close of a friend).

In my experience, your close friends don't want you to change. I know that may sound harsh, but it's none the less true. They may even tell you to your face "Of course I want you to change, and become a better person!" Which is only half true. They want that, if it doesn't mess with their reality and perception of it, and you.

Change is a scary thing for some people. And in their defense, to watch a close friend change, can be unnerving. It may even cause them to question if you have even been real with them at all. Now, hopefully, you would already have told them "Hey, look, I'm going to be making some changes in my life. So be prepared.", so they won't be broadsided. Even so, I have seen friends who will freak out on you if you show the slightest bit of change.

I'm not really sure why this is. Perhaps you are challenging them to change, by your change, and they feel that they can't. So instead of trying to change, they try to keep you from changing. Or perhaps it's something much simpler. Then again maybe that idea it too simple, and it's something deeper and more complex.

What ever the reason is, it is hard to change around close friends and family. Again, I know it sounds harsh, but it's just true. And the funny (sad?) thing about it, is that more often than not, they don't even realize they are doing it. So what does that mean?

Your Part

We come to the other side of the coin. It falls to you to make sure they realize that you are handling things differently. If you allow them to pull you back into your old ways of thinking and reacting to them as you did before, then you are pretty much telling them that you really aren't that serious about change. And of course they will never see that change if you never show them the change.

It's not easy to make these changes. I find myself out side my "comfort zone" often. But thats where the changing takes place. If you are comfortable, and you have just started making changes, I would venture to say you are either not making very big changes, or your not following through with them.

Speaking from my own personal experience, the hardest part about changing was breaking myself out of old ways of thinking and doing things. Truth be told, even now I still slip back into those old habits and do the things I know are not the best. I've done it recently. But if you catch yourself doing it, you can change it and get back on track. It's ok to fall off the horse (metaphorically speaking), it's NOT ok to NOT get back on the horse and keep on the path of self improvement.

Summary

I think improving ones self should be a constant life goal. Starting over can be a great way to start the improvement process. However, you should be prepared to lose friends and, in extreme circumstances, family while you are changing. But in the end, only you can make you happy. And no one else can be responsible for you. So you might have to make some tough decisions on what is best for.

Again, I don't know where this came from, but here it is! Hope it was helpful to someone! Tell me what you think in the comments!